Learning Men, Part 2: Mind Games

Shortly after Lee and I began our courtship, I traveled to another state for a few months of summer work.  The distance only seemed to bring us closer.  Lee was very romantic and would send me little notes and care packages, always expressing how amazed he was by me, how much he loved me and was grateful for me.  It was very touching.  He and I would chat on the phone almost every evening when I drove home from work.  His voice soothed me and provided me with much-needed company in a place where I didn’t have much.  I truly felt a kind of love for him that was difficult to pin down.  Was it romantic?  Or was it more of a friendship kind of love?  Or was it something entirely different?  Maybe it was unique to having feelings for another man.  I tried not to compare my love for Lee to relationships I’d had with women in the past.  Yet all of this loving interaction with a man threw me for a loop.  Was Lee becoming my first boyfriend?

Midway through the summer Lee and I arranged a special trip to his hometown across the country.  He would be there to meet me upon my arrival.  I’d get to see where he grew up, meet his family, and enjoy a week exploring the city.  We arranged to stay at a beautiful apartment close to downtown.  I had another friend, Stacy, who I was very interested in seeing in the same town.  She also happened to be a woman I’d been romantically intrigued by for two years.  Lee had no problem with this, as he identified as bisexual and polyamorous.  He didn’t want to limit my love for others at all, no matter the sex or nature of the relationship.  Stacy was also excited to meet Lee, as she identified in a very similar way as he did — bi and poly.  The potential for the three of us to enjoy each other’s company appeared to be quite promising.  Fantasies of hot, sweaty threesomes flooded my mind, and Lee expressed the same.  I hadn’t been with a woman in many months, nor had Lee.  And the two of us with her sounded like a sexy scenario, to say the least.

men spoon

I arrived at the airport in Lee’s hometown, and Stacy was the first to greet me.  Her beautiful long brown hair, emerald green eyes, and disarming smile were so much better to see in person than in the online video chats we’d grown accustomed to.  I could get a much more visceral sense of the fullness of her breasts and the curvy nature of her hips.  She immediately felt good in my arms.  We hopped in her car and went to a restaurant to grab some food until we heard from Lee.  It had only been an hour since I landed, but I was already very enamored with Stacy.  All the more reason to be even more excited for her to meet my lovely guy friend.  I got a text from Lee, and Stacy and I drove to find him sitting underneath a statue — a fierce, lean man, chiseled out of stone and radiating confidence.  The statue was pretty neat, too.  Lee opened his arms and held me tight when I hugged and kissed him.  He seemed to hug Stacy with the same amount of love.  It was so wonderful to be reunited with my dear guy friend, and I couldn’t wait for the week to unfold.

Stacy had to work early the next morning, so she dropped Lee and I off at our apartment.  It was everything we imagined — a spacious one bedroom, one bathroom spread with a king-sized bed, luxurious linens, an indoor hot tub, and a roomy shower with two heads.  Of all the places to have a sexy, romantic getaway, this was the place.  Yet, as Lee and I settled in, crawled under the sheets, and felt the warmth of each other’s naked bodies, conflict arose in my mind.  Just a moment before, I had experienced the feminine energy of Stacy; her familiar softness instantly caused arousal in my mind.  I had already learned women.  I knew what excited me about their bodies and their presence.  I knew all the ins and outs of their subtle erotic energy.  And there I was with a man, feeling his strong hands caress me, his muscular body against mine.  It felt good to be touched by Lee — to be loved by Lee.  But I couldn’t help feeling confused.  As he spooned me, breathing into my ears, his erect cock delicately poked between my thighs; his lips met my neck and shoulders.  I wanted to enjoy it, but it felt so different.  It was comforting and endearing — and I was not repulsed by it at all — but I could not feel the same passion I’d had for female partners.  I told him that I was so happy to see him, but I was ready for sleep.

I never thought I’d end up in bed with another man, sleeping side-by-side, cuddling.  But there I was.  And though it felt nice, my mind would not allow me to experience it fully — to really feel it.  Then I had a thought about Stacy being there with us.  Maybe having a woman between us would help me sort out some of my confusion.  Or maybe it would add to it.  Either way, I wanted to find out.


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