I had a girlfriend once who thought I desired sex too much. She would frequently turn me down when I made advances towards her, saying that there wasn’t enough time, there were other things to do, or that I was too aggressive in my pursuit. After some time of this dynamic, she said, “Maybe you need to get hobby. You obsess about sex too much. Find an activity you can do that brings out your creative, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual energies — something fulfilling and enjoyable.”
As much as it pained me to hear that, I decided to take her advice. I was willing to entertain the idea that maybe I was a little too invested in seeking sex from her. So I went on a search for the ultimate hobby that would bring some kind of ultimate holistic satisfaction, something to occupy my time and my mind that would bring joy and understanding in my life. Or at least something to pass the time and distract myself from my unrelenting desires.
After much deliberation and soul-searching, meditating and contemplating, I finally received the inspiration I was looking for on a walk in the desert mountains. As the sun kissed the horizon and the evening was just beginning, it hit me like a freight train. “Of course! That’s it!” Yes, I had found the ultimate hobby, and I was excited to share the discovery with my girlfriend.
I came home from the walk, and my girlfriend was lying on the couch reading a book. I marched right up to her and excitedly said: “I think I found the hobby I’ve been looking for!”
“That’s so great!” She responded. Relief and hope filled her eyes. “What is it?”
The hope drained from her eyes.
This is a blog devoted to that hobby, that art, that ever-expressive, sometimes tragic, and yet often illuminating form of humanity we call sexuality, love, or intimacy. These are the things that fascinate me and call to my soul. What does it mean to love — to really love? What does it mean to physically caress each other? To snuggle in the morning after sleeping beside your lover? Where is the distinction between union and individual experience? What boundaries, lines, and thresholds can be crossed in our explorations when we open our hearts to infinite possibilities? And how far can we go on that trip before it engulfs us, consumes us, and we can no longer recognize ourselves in the mirror? How does emotion and vulnerability contribute to our capacity emanate and embody love?
These are are very, very big questions. And I can honestly say that, like most areas of my life, I have no answers. Only thoughts. Ideas. Feelings. And so here I am, sharing with you, the reader, what those thoughts-ideas-feelings are. I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I do, and I hope some of the intimate moments I share can contribute and inspire your direction in some way. At the very least, let’s just have some fun. Welcome to my heart. I welcome yours, as well.
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